Schools’s tomorrow. I am literally terrified. I still have so much to do. I have to change my hair, get glasses, organize my things, make my lunch,erhahwr get more clothes, accesories! There is literally no end to my list. I could die right now. My life feels so stupid. I will probably screw up grade eight and fail and have to be with my brother’s class. And I need a shower! I know I could do that any second but I’m waiting for my parents to get home. I feel sick. I don’t want to post but I need everyone to know that I am not okay with this. I feel really gross and incompetent. I’ve used up my last drop of innocence and have nothing left for anyone to like. Everyone is bound to see my true colors … Something I want, but am scared of. People have learned to shy away from the unknown. And I could qualify for that. I let people know who I am, but they probably haven’t ever met someone like that. I’m going to have a shower. Good song btw. Tata. ❤


2 Responses to “SCHOOL :(”

  1. September 11, 2009 at 4:04 pm

    Last night I had a revelation; if you so will. I was just listening to some music…then all of a sudden it just hit me. I was all of a sudden like ZOMG! I started bawling. Because I realized that the times with our split class, the now grade nines, are totally over, they were the best times ever of my life, and now there gonee, and this year is dull; empty; the feel isn’t right. I knew there was something wrong but it’s because I’m not ready to let go of them; of everything! This year will not be good, it will be the same every day, over and over, and by the end of it we need to make another long and hard goodbye. life sucks. big TIME right now. Can you feel it!? the memories from the past 2 years literally haunt that classroom. It just hurts so bad. I am practicallt using this comment box for my own friggin post; but just seeing you upset over the year makes me wonder as much… You felt unprepared, I felt unprepared….just knowing this year is going to be the worst 10 months ever to exist. But knowing there is no release in future is WORSE. After this; there is no ease. Loosy leaves, then we go to high school, with is like mega stressor 5000….then….we lose everyone. We are shuffled into the world whether we like it or not…but I just want to sit in a classroom with rosset and the grade nines…laughing and enjoying life. HOW IT SHOULD BE. But there’s no going back now.
    Those memories are gone.

    This lyrics from Too Easy by OneRepublic is exactly how it is:

    “Autumn wind turns again, and days are worn and start to fade, all the tears still the same, memories fall like rain….the only world I know…steady as you go…”

    • 2 similala26
      September 11, 2009 at 11:42 pm

      Awes .. Imma listen to that song.
      But … yeah. I try not to dwell on the bad things anymore. It just ends with me rolled up in a ball crying my eyes out. And .. crying is sad. I just think about how we have Neil (The new girl) and how we are going to meet amazing fun people next year. And maybe make some new memories. Good memories. But, it’s true, there are gonna be times in this year when I just cry thinking about old memories. But I won’t keep that agonizing thought with me. I’ll rub it out of my mind and get on with my life. And the same goes with Loosy leaving. I’ll have it in my side thought all the time, and I might have depressing times in the day, but I’m a good faker. I won’t let anyone else suffer because I’m dwelling on the bad things in life. Loosy doesn’t even do that. Maybe because she’s used to it, and maybe because she’s a good faker, who knows? The thing is life is just gonna drag along that much slower if you think about all the bad things, and who wants that? Expiriencing more is the way to go, and maybe that might not work for you, but it’s working for everyone else.

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Twilight, as you all know, is my favorite thing in the whole wide world. So I decided to put quotes on here. I want to put 3 quotes a day from now on. Here are my favorite quotes:

You know, Jacob, you’re awfully self-righteous — considering that you’re a werewolf and all.
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 4, p.111

Well… don’t be offended, but you smell like a dog.
Edward Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 6, p.144

I was all braced for the wrath that was going to put grizzlies to shame, and this is what I get? I should infuriate you more often.
Edward Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 8, p.186

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