UNKNOWN AND PERPETUALLY DISTANT

I have a little note here that I wrote when I wished I could blog, and had nothing better to do. Here it is:

It’s 10:55. Ky and Monica are asleep.I should be too I suppose. I feel like documenting this moment. I have grown to cherish life and all it has to offer. If you don’t learn to accept challenges the more you dwell and suffer. And I’ve done enough suffering. Which brings me to a conclusion; I can’t seem to get past the feeling I am forcing myself into drama’s. But isn’t it true, though? I’ve been pushing myself into people’s world’s without any consent or means to do so. I’m a mess. Without any right to be one. I blog because I want to let out my thoughts and make people see me in a different light. I don’t want to be the stupid, selfish brat everyone seems to see me as. I want to be an insightful, smart person. I want people to see me as what I really am. Not just the stupid goofy person I always am. But an insightful poet. An author. I want them to know that when the pencil touches the paper inspiration floods my mind. Or when my finger’s touch the keyboard. It’s  no use though. I have made a reputation not worth getting, or keeping. I have lived to long in my own fake shadow for people to actually see the person behind it. Like what Blondie said, “You always get what you don’t want” Well I didn’t get what I wanted, but it was what I worked for. No use if no one understands the voice speaking … I guess I am dwelling, on the reasonable, though. <3

So, as you see, I have doomed myself into an uncontrolable spiral towards the unknown and perpetually distant future. Nice. Tata. <3